Today I was asked by my friend to be one of her 18 candles at her debutante party (it’s a Filipino thing). Of course, I was delighted and honoured to be asked, and said yes.
I’m not Filipino, but I do have Filipino friends who go to debutante parties all the time, and I’ve seen photos. Everyone always dresses up formally, and they all look beautiful. Being asked to be a candle got me thinking about what I might wear, which (unfortunately) led to thinking about my weight. I’ve never been one to be all, “Oh my God, I look so fat today”. I’m more of a “Should I have 2 eclairs? Of course I should, why did I even need to ask myself that?!” person.
But I’ve noticed that since PE lessons finished in Year 11, my fitness levels have dropped faster than you can say “Dropdownandgive me20pressups”. When I run for the bus, my heart cries out, “Wait for me!” about 20 paces behind just as I’m getting on the bus. When I climb up stairs, I huff and puff so much, houses practically get blown down. Plus I’m getting *whispers* a muffin top. It’s a bit gross, because it sort of peeks over the top of my skinny jeans, so I tend to stick to oversized jumpers.
The party’s about 2 months away, so I googled “Lose weight in 2 months” for some inspiration. Some of the sites Google came up with were reasonably sensible, giving advice like eat healthily, cut out fast food and sweets (damn!) and exercise more. Other sites were a bit scary. Not scary as in rawr-scary, but scary as in sad-scary. Because they had phrases like “thinspo”, and “only had about 500 calories today at most”. As much as I’d like to look okay in a dress, I don’t want to end up starving myself just for it. The sites, on the surface, seemed supportive to others who wanted to lose weight, but the more I read, the more I felt like I’m a blob, and that’s definitely not okay.
I think I’ll just stick to cutting out junk food and making use of my school gym a bit more.